Saturday, November 9, 2013

Quote list: October Edition

Last month, I published this post with funny quotes from my friends during the month of September. Let the tradition continue and check out some funny tidbits recorded from October! It's a bit long, so take some time and be ready to laugh.

On working at an advertising agency:
"It’s kind of like living in the sorority house walking into work. You look at the reception desk and it’s like oh, an edible arrangement from someone’s fiancĂ©. Flowers from someone’s boyfriend. My life is awesome." -Meredith

And working at a TV station:  
“And everyone who works at the station on Saturday, it might as well be college. People come in and are just like yup, hung over!” -Stacey

On online shopping: 
"Did I tell you about my first online shopping experience? I decided it was time I finally learn how to work the internet. Then Mom called and was like did you order something online? It got mailed to the house." -Eleni

On dating:
"And his pickup line was “The government is shut down but I'm not. He's a kU grad, what do you expect." -A boy to a friend on Tinder

"And this funky dress is for the dates I haven’t been asked out on yet. Dream big." -Hannah

"If selfies are more than three of their photos, I’m rejecting them. And if they have their shirt off in more than 3 of their pictures." -a friend on Tinder

“They met on Tinder and he’s Greek Orthodox." -Maria on one of her friends

“If you can’t see from her Facebook picture she’s probably not pretty.” -Dinner in NY on Sherman’s blind date


On the name of a publication the civil engineering major is entering an article in: 
It's called Poultry Material Monthly. -Laura
PACKAGING MATERIAL TECHNOLOGY. -Ryan

Some Greek Orthodox humor:
"And you should all buy raffle tickets..." -a Priest
"Things you would never hear your father say." -Mom at another church

"Chris, you come from an Orthodox family. ...Toni, you come from a priest's family so it is not necessary for me to give you advice. You know everything." -Bishop Iakavos at Toni & Chris's wedding

“Don’t worry I have the whole service up on Go Arch.” -Angie, on looking up women's names mentioned in a wedding service
   
"I've never seen kolyva in a McDonalds cup before." -Penelope

"Every Sunday I keep thinking to myself I hope that nobody’s here."-Yiayia Nikie, on greeting out of town guests at the parish in DeKalb

“They advertise on the Greek hour.” -Yiayia Nikie, people do recognize advertisements!

On growing up and learning real life things: 
“I haven’t been to any collegiate sporting events all year and I’m feeling bad for myself.” -Hannah

"ComEd likes to pretend they’re Amish. There’s an upcharge if you pay on the phone." -Someone at work

"It’s a blessing and a curse. It’s too easy. I spent $50 on cabs this weekend." -Stacey, on Uber cabs where your credit card is saved in the app to order taxis 

"I always get such a great work out going to the grocery store." -co-worker, on living downtown

"That’s the burden piece of furniture that just moves around." -Katie
"That’s my favorite chair in the house and that shows how much I matter around here." -Dad

“I’m not acknowledging real life or maturity so I put this in my bag at the last minute *takes out Mr. Bear stuffed animal*” -Susan
  
They didn't know my other option is watch Netflix & get fat. -Susan, on portraying other job options, 10-10
   
“What’s the difference between a modem & a router?” -Hannah

"Why do they think we need to buy a keg? It’s not like we’re a frat." -Hannah, on our housewarming party

“And he was all like 'You didn’t activate your Ventra card' and I was like BUT I DID. Then people on the bus were laughing because I was right.” -Hannah

“That’s not news, that’s history!” -Anna Burkart, on the “News” trivia question from 2007

“I’m really impressed with your egg cracking skills. I suck at cracking eggs.” -Andrew, on living alone

I’m surprised that as OCD as we both are, we’re not leveling things. -Hannah, on hanging frames in our apartment

“Whoever I have is getting a gift card then because postage is expensive.” -Andrew, on Secret Santa gifts in the mail

“It’s amazing how little you need when you’re one person.” -Andrew, on furniture

From the workplace...

“We’re exhausted editing this survey, how are they supposed to take it?” –my boss at work

“I have Apple products but I don’t smoke Apple crack.” -Someone interviewed at work

“The kids had some clever tactics this year. This bag’s for my niece, this one’s for my brother and this one’s for me. And I’m like oh really what’s your brother’s name? Where is he?” –someone at work on Halloween
     
"It’s going to be 82 degrees tomorrow." -me on the train
"I’m not going to see it anyway." -Ian, our resident Eeyore and accountant on the Metra

And just some funny ones to end...

"You know who we really have to thank? James Franklin because he’s the reason we have a 6 pm game." -Kathryn, on our evening Homecoming game and plenty of tailgating time

"Getting more exercise tailgate hopping across campus than during the average work week. Post grad problems."

"Is it really a hostel?" -pizza delivery man to Andrew at Homecoming, after seeing the hostel sign on the friends' apartment

"Does the wienermobile ever get pulled over?" -the car
"Sometimes cops want to take pictures of them pulling the wienermobile over." -Ben, about his year driving it

“I’m just shocked that it’s 2013 and people still wear lightwash jeans.”


"The senior center is having a PJ party." -Mrs. Gouletas at Target in the pajama aisle


“They carted her off in theatrical form.” -Becca, on her car accident. “I’d call it a fender bender plus.”
  
“Just because we’re both Jewish and have brown hair doesn’t mean we’re the same person.” -Shaina, on people confusing her with someone at an event


“I’m going to be a mutated pumpkin that has a 6-pack.” -Drew, 8-year-old cousin on what he's being for Halloween

“I hated that kid. We were both the fat kids and he wanted to be the better one.” -Nouno Peter, on another Greek kid

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