Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Funny quotes: September edition


As many friends know, I keep a quote list on my phone and computer of the funny things people say. In conversations, in person, at work, on the phone...and there is even a document for each semester at Mizzou. 

I typically haven't published them because too much context is necessary, but after realizing how much others laughed upon hearing some of these, I decided it was worth sharing some highlight quotes of the month for those that want to see them. So, if you want a quick laugh, and especially know any of these people, read these and enjoy! Comments and/or background of the context is in italics. Dad tops this month's quotable phrases, shocker there. Here's the best of September, so far! 

On using instant messaging at work: 
AIM is so much more complicated than it used to be. -Alyssa G.


Looks like someone is picky with being up to date!

He was playing too much older music like Usher and Jay-Z. -Dad

The smallest filet I've ever seen in my life. Are we on an airplane or something? -Dad


On choosing an apartment downtown, to the broker: 
I’d like to be close to an L and a McDonald’s, but if it comes down to it, McDonald’s is more important. -Elena K. 

On the exciting 20something life: 
Chicago is like Disneyworld and the L is just the tram. -Meredith

Life in a college town: 
It was a $10 minimum on credit cards, then we just had to order five more beers and drink them, so whatever. -Laura 


Actually asked and answered at a conference at work: 
Where's the Google office? I don’t know, Google it.


On her fiancĂ©'s company volleyball team: 
Some of his coworkers are definitely awkward but he's in a tech-y field so I'd expect that. -Helen


Yes, this happened: 
Really? I’m standing here in the parking lot talking to someone? Am I a North Shore woman? -Dad

When your friends visit Chicago and you're from here: 
I tell my friends to take the water taxi, I'll just give them the architectural tour. -Sam L. 

On furnishing our apartment: 
People will say where'd you get your furniture? Churches and dead relatives. -Hannah 

Liturgical jokes, for those Orthodox folk: 
I was looking up the feast day for St. Founourios but I couldn’t find it. -Dad

From my 5-year-old goddaughter:
Nouna, I don’t want you to get married. It’s gross to kiss boys on the lips. -Lena

On parking downtown: 
Parking should be free for everybody. -Stacey

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