November quote list

Continuing the tradition, here are some highlights from November's quote list! To see September or October, click there or check out the quotes tag.  

On adulthood:

"Except you can golf for free the day of the wedding at this location." -Steve, on comparing wedding venues
"Why will you need to golf the day of our wedding?" -Helen

"My 14 year-old sister just told us to stay safe." -Susan, on her 25th birthday

"I don't think we're old until we're 30." -Hannah, on adulthood

"They just took fireball shots on their date- #worstdateever" -Hannah

"The first time I heard of a man playing flag football he was 7 and a boy." -Susan

"We're stealing cable - it involves a paper clip somehow." -Kara, on her apartment in Brooklyn

"I'm just really worried about his credit score because it'll be hard for us to buy a house." -a friend's cousin, who is only 21 years old and shouldn't be worrying about this

"And the Trader Joe's line is one in one out." -Alyssa, on living in New York City

"I’m really happy I ended up going because my mom’s cousin was there- she’s pregnant and I really want to be the Nouna." -Penelope, on the unwritten who will be the godmother contest

“I wanted to get you some ouzo but I didn’t have any left.” -a parishioner to Dad, typical Greeks regifting

A waiter talking about the crumber tool that scrapes crumbs at restaurants:
“It’s a weird thing that I never have the opportunity to use.” -the waiter at Ketel One Club in United Center

“He's like everyone's so nice here and I'm like who?” -Dean, about a classmate in the Loyola MBA program complimenting other students

“She's going to take you into the movie after a half hour Powerpoint presentation. …Just kidding.” -Screenvision guy at The Hunger Games: Catching Fire 

Next time we move, if it's us and were not engaged, I'm prioritizing in house laundry. -Hannah, on our apartment hunt

“And then after court I went and spent $600 at Old Orchard.” -Becca, on post-grad life

“I don’t have any hobbies. I just graduated college, I’m working, that’s enough.” -Becca, to the person screening her at jury duty asking about hobbies

“My likes are worth a million dollars. I’m just a passive observer on Facebook.” -Becca, on being a Facebook stalker but only rarely interacting 

"Dude, you're so maternal." -Max, to a guy friend- compliment or not? 

“We have a baby, do we still need to wait in the line?” -Man at Kohl’s on Black Friday

“Absolutely!” -Employee at Kohl’s

“My dog is at home and I have to feed it, can I not wait in line? Who do people think they are?” -Employee

“She was getting rid of me to go socialize with Erma!” -Meredith, on her grandmother at the nursing home

“We have an under 5, under 30 and old people table.” -George S., on his family Thanksgiving 

“I took a day off of work to take Yiayia to the DMV.” -George S., on life in a Greek family

“I think that I don’t have money for food next week. Like I have two dates so I cover enough meals. No I’m not joking. Tickets are 200+.” -a friend, on post-graduate life as a broke grad paying off loans

Airport experiences: 

"If you have items in your pocket, you'll receive a free massage compliments of our friends at TSA." -TSA woman

"Daddy what does delayed mean?" -A 6-year-old girl
[The whole gate for the ORD to LGA turns around in shock and mouths drop]

"That's a bad word at the airport honey." -6-year-old's father

"Your luggage is too fat m'aam." -American Airlines guy

"No it isn't, it fits!" -Woman stuffs it into the test bag rack

"But can you get it out?" -Airport attendant

“I feel so bad when all the flights get cancelled because all the passengers are pissed and I’m like YES!” -Hannah's friend who is a flight attendant

And to end with some amusing family quotes: 

"A lady stopped by to bring some bread from the monastery. I wish you were here, since I’m not supposed to eat bread." -Yiayia Nikie, on getting rid of food

“And we have evidence that someone is staring through that window. A raccoon.” -Dad

“When my kid has flat Stanley, I’m going to tear it up and say you’re not doing this.” -Eleni

  

“Once I crash a car, you can yell at me for my driving.” -Eleni

If I go through your Facebook pictures I can see the guys hugging you extra tight and see who’s going out with you. -Dad

“My boyfriend, Alex, and I decided that if we ever have a kid we’re going to name him or her Alex so we can say hi, we’re Alex. All 3 of us.” -our cousin Alex

“Junior year my bio teacher had acetone, which is the stuff that makes the nail polish smell good.” -Eleni, on enjoying the smell of nail polish

“That’s not FOMO, that’s MO.” -Dad, on not being tagged in a Facebook album

“And Scott taught me how to do checkins so even though we flew into Midway, I don’t want my friends to think I’m cheap so I checked into O’Hare when we drove by.” -Thea Lucy, on checking into Four Square from the airport

Me: Papou, did you bring the cranberry sauce?

Papou: No, but this parishioner made us this jello.

(Greeks mooching)

Papou: Have you decided on a major yet, Eleni?

Eleni: Yes, I’m going to study English and secondary education. I’m going to be a hot high school teacher. 

“Describe the cranberry vodka for me. What does it taste like?” -Papou, at Thanksgiving dinner

“It doesn’t matter what was in our house, it could all be considered a projectile weapon.” -Dad, on growing up in the Artemas home

"I’m going to post a picture of pumpkin pie online and everyone’s going to comment JEALOUS. I don’t agree with posting pictures of food on the Internet." -Dad, on Thanksgiving 

“Sometimes if you want things done well, you have to do them yourself.” -Papou, and we wonder where we get our stubbornness from