December quotes

Four categories in this month's quote-list: funny stories overall, family moments during the holidays, business world quotes and conversations about weddings. Enjoy! See past months' quote lists here.

FUNNY MOMENTS AND 20-SOMETHING STORIES

"And then I saw my cousin on Tinder. It was super awkward." -a girl in Atlanta

"Well Mr. Uber will know everything. -Kathryn, as the Uber cab driver overhears our whole conversation

"Congratulations, have a great night, don't get chlamydia." -Kathryn, to Auburn fans at the SEC Championship yelling at Mizzou fans about the loss

"Everyone's tweeting 'Mizzou had a great season! So proud to be a tiger.' There's another game left people!" -Andrew

"I think my mom’s favorite part of this weekend is that I'm with Katie and she knows what I'm up to- Every. Single. Moment." -Sherman, on our trip to Atlanta

"And by coming down here for a bowl game I decided I'm living with my parents a couple more months." -Sherman, on affording post-grad life 

"I would love to live with my parents again. Plus I'm a terrible cook." -Sam K., on life being a blessing living at home 

"I felt like I was watching Madden. It was the same play…over and over again." -Andrew, on the SEC Championship game 

"It's good for girls but if you're a boy, why would you be like I going to pay for 30 extra dinners?" -Andrew, on online dating sites 

"It’s nice weather if you're a polar bear." -Air crew on a Southwest flight arriving into Chicago

“My post-partum older sister looks better than me in this picture.” -Harriet, on a picture of her and her sister

"I kind of wish I didn't last that long because I spent so much money." -Cale, on Chicago's 12 Bars of Christmas

"Yeah and there’s those that say 'We’re actually from Chicago' and it’s like yeah, we get it. -Meredith, on people at U of I describing their hometowns or suburbs 

“We communicate on Facebook with stickers now.” -Jen, on messaging a friend

"Yeah there are Jewel Osco’s in the suburbs too." -Overheard on State Street, guy saying to a girl

(As a glass breaks in Dollar Store)

“Oh I thought you were my 5-year-old son.” -Northbrook mom

“No, just a 22-year-old klutz.” -Meredith

"Are you helping your mom cook for Christmas?" -Patients at a physical therapy location

"I’m just going to eat Chinese food." -Jessica, who is Jewish 

"Some think it’s funny and some just stare at me like I’m crazy. You’re in Highland Park, people, don’t you think that’s funny?" -Jessica

"He wrapped it with duct tape. Each little different tag has a different spelling of Hannukah on it." -Shaina, on her Secret Santa gift from Andrew

“There’s this magazine called Cooks Illustrated. They do all these reviews of different types of kitchen equipment and I read all of them." -Shaina 

"The whisk that we have in our apartment…Cooks Illustrated rated it the No. 1 whisk…and we get to use it everyday." -Shaina, can you tell she has a kitchen obsession? 

"Why are you recording it?" -Kathryn's grandfather as they bake cookies

"So I can show people on Facebook." -Kathryn

"People on Facebook want to see that?" -Kathryn's grandfather

"You’ve been lusting over handbags and I’ve been lusting over immersion blenders." -Shaina

"I hope we can all laugh about this when Sherman meets the girl he’s going to marry tomorrow at the matzo ball." - Shaina, on the matzo ball, a Jewish singles pub crawl on Christmas Eve

"One thing I’m actually really excited about is Dunkin Donuts." -Laura, on her upcoming visit to Chicago

"My mom thinks my dad needs to ride the L. So I have to get them to ride the L." -Hannah, on her parents visiting for the afternoon

"And do you have cronuts?" -overheard Hannah asking this on the phone to numerous bakeries 

"I look at these babies in Brooklyn and I’m like you’re going to be shocked at your life, kid." -Kara, as we see a mom breastfeeding at a bottomless mimosa brunch 

"Our moms met at Momma-size, like Jazzercise." -Meredith

"Momma-size? That’s like everything I hate- exercise and small children." -Kara

“He’ll drink anything a 10-year old girl would drink.” -Stacey, on one of her college friends and alcohol

"And it blossomed into a beautiful friendship because I tried to turn him into a feminist and he tried to turn me into a submissive Christian wife." -Kara, on a Georgetown friend 

"I'm going to stop drinking Diet Coke in 2014. It’s the only thing I’m doing right now that’s mildly unhealthy. I’m quitting cold turkey." -Hannah

“Julie is watching this bunny while my mom’s coworker is out of town so all my family does is sit in the basement and watch this bunny run around.” -Stacey, on life's exciting moments 

“Policemen whose job is to give out tickets just have a horrible job…to make people pissed off.” -Stacey

ON WEDDINGS

“If you tell someone this, I’ll kill you. Actually, I won’t let you be a bridesmaid.” -Helen, on the phone with a friend

“It is quite a ton of money for the other half.” -Steve, on answering why people don't get engaged sooner

“You should start a separate bank account just for weddings.” -Mom

“He went and bought a car instead of a ring.” -Dad, on how a relationship ended 

"What’s your tolerance for the duration of services?" -Dad to Steve 

"Apparently you can’t just ask anymore." -Steve, on Helen asking me to be her maid of honor with a wine bottle 

"It's like kindergarten all over again." -Dad, on invitations to weddings and who gets to go

BUSINESS WORLD

"Why they still use a blue disk to save beats me, it should at least be a USB." -Excel class teacher commenting on Microsoft Office

"The bottom line is you can waste a lot of company time changing the background of your chart." -Excel class teacher, as he instructs us on how to beautify charts  

FUNNY FAMILY STORIES 

"Yesterday I sat by the window and watched the snow fall down." -Yiayia Sophie, on life in a nursing home 

"Have you practiced walking in your walker so you can get to Jeanie's tomorrow?" -Mom, to Yiayia on the phone, being realistic

Playing dealbreaker with the family:

"They say you're not allowed to work." -Eleni
"Not a deal breaker AT ALL." -Maria

"If your guy drives around in a Prius, he does not have my approval." -Dad

"Fomo is definitely a thing in this family." -Eleni

"They ripped me off. I got a Greek salad and it didn't even have feta." -Papou, on a restaurant in Crete 

"And there's our neighbor with her pet goat. Wherever she goes she carries her cell phone and a gun." -Papou, on a friend in Crete as he shows us pictures of Greece

"I want the fire on the screen and the crackling but not the background music." -Dad, on a first world pain on the TV

"And then they had some American friends too." -Dad