December quotes

Four categories in this month's quote-list: funny stories overall, family moments during the holidays, business world quotes and conversations about weddings. Enjoy! See past months' quote lists here.

FUNNY MOMENTS AND 20-SOMETHING STORIES

"And then I saw my cousin on Tinder. It was super awkward." -a girl in Atlanta

"Well Mr. Uber will know everything. -Kathryn, as the Uber cab driver overhears our whole conversation

"Congratulations, have a great night, don't get chlamydia." -Kathryn, to Auburn fans at the SEC Championship yelling at Mizzou fans about the loss

"Everyone's tweeting 'Mizzou had a great season! So proud to be a tiger.' There's another game left people!" -Andrew

"I think my mom’s favorite part of this weekend is that I'm with Katie and she knows what I'm up to- Every. Single. Moment." -Sherman, on our trip to Atlanta

"And by coming down here for a bowl game I decided I'm living with my parents a couple more months." -Sherman, on affording post-grad life 

"I would love to live with my parents again. Plus I'm a terrible cook." -Sam K., on life being a blessing living at home 

"I felt like I was watching Madden. It was the same play…over and over again." -Andrew, on the SEC Championship game 

"It's good for girls but if you're a boy, why would you be like I going to pay for 30 extra dinners?" -Andrew, on online dating sites 

"It’s nice weather if you're a polar bear." -Air crew on a Southwest flight arriving into Chicago

“My post-partum older sister looks better than me in this picture.” -Harriet, on a picture of her and her sister

"I kind of wish I didn't last that long because I spent so much money." -Cale, on Chicago's 12 Bars of Christmas

"Yeah and there’s those that say 'We’re actually from Chicago' and it’s like yeah, we get it. -Meredith, on people at U of I describing their hometowns or suburbs 

“We communicate on Facebook with stickers now.” -Jen, on messaging a friend

"Yeah there are Jewel Osco’s in the suburbs too." -Overheard on State Street, guy saying to a girl

(As a glass breaks in Dollar Store)

“Oh I thought you were my 5-year-old son.” -Northbrook mom

“No, just a 22-year-old klutz.” -Meredith

"Are you helping your mom cook for Christmas?" -Patients at a physical therapy location

"I’m just going to eat Chinese food." -Jessica, who is Jewish 

"Some think it’s funny and some just stare at me like I’m crazy. You’re in Highland Park, people, don’t you think that’s funny?" -Jessica

"He wrapped it with duct tape. Each little different tag has a different spelling of Hannukah on it." -Shaina, on her Secret Santa gift from Andrew

“There’s this magazine called Cooks Illustrated. They do all these reviews of different types of kitchen equipment and I read all of them." -Shaina 

"The whisk that we have in our apartment…Cooks Illustrated rated it the No. 1 whisk…and we get to use it everyday." -Shaina, can you tell she has a kitchen obsession? 

"Why are you recording it?" -Kathryn's grandfather as they bake cookies

"So I can show people on Facebook." -Kathryn

"People on Facebook want to see that?" -Kathryn's grandfather

"You’ve been lusting over handbags and I’ve been lusting over immersion blenders." -Shaina

"I hope we can all laugh about this when Sherman meets the girl he’s going to marry tomorrow at the matzo ball." - Shaina, on the matzo ball, a Jewish singles pub crawl on Christmas Eve

"One thing I’m actually really excited about is Dunkin Donuts." -Laura, on her upcoming visit to Chicago

"My mom thinks my dad needs to ride the L. So I have to get them to ride the L." -Hannah, on her parents visiting for the afternoon

"And do you have cronuts?" -overheard Hannah asking this on the phone to numerous bakeries 

"I look at these babies in Brooklyn and I’m like you’re going to be shocked at your life, kid." -Kara, as we see a mom breastfeeding at a bottomless mimosa brunch 

"Our moms met at Momma-size, like Jazzercise." -Meredith

"Momma-size? That’s like everything I hate- exercise and small children." -Kara

“He’ll drink anything a 10-year old girl would drink.” -Stacey, on one of her college friends and alcohol

"And it blossomed into a beautiful friendship because I tried to turn him into a feminist and he tried to turn me into a submissive Christian wife." -Kara, on a Georgetown friend 

"I'm going to stop drinking Diet Coke in 2014. It’s the only thing I’m doing right now that’s mildly unhealthy. I’m quitting cold turkey." -Hannah

“Julie is watching this bunny while my mom’s coworker is out of town so all my family does is sit in the basement and watch this bunny run around.” -Stacey, on life's exciting moments 

“Policemen whose job is to give out tickets just have a horrible job…to make people pissed off.” -Stacey

ON WEDDINGS

“If you tell someone this, I’ll kill you. Actually, I won’t let you be a bridesmaid.” -Helen, on the phone with a friend

“It is quite a ton of money for the other half.” -Steve, on answering why people don't get engaged sooner

“You should start a separate bank account just for weddings.” -Mom

“He went and bought a car instead of a ring.” -Dad, on how a relationship ended 

"What’s your tolerance for the duration of services?" -Dad to Steve 

"Apparently you can’t just ask anymore." -Steve, on Helen asking me to be her maid of honor with a wine bottle 

"It's like kindergarten all over again." -Dad, on invitations to weddings and who gets to go

BUSINESS WORLD

"Why they still use a blue disk to save beats me, it should at least be a USB." -Excel class teacher commenting on Microsoft Office

"The bottom line is you can waste a lot of company time changing the background of your chart." -Excel class teacher, as he instructs us on how to beautify charts  

FUNNY FAMILY STORIES 

"Yesterday I sat by the window and watched the snow fall down." -Yiayia Sophie, on life in a nursing home 

"Have you practiced walking in your walker so you can get to Jeanie's tomorrow?" -Mom, to Yiayia on the phone, being realistic

Playing dealbreaker with the family:

"They say you're not allowed to work." -Eleni
"Not a deal breaker AT ALL." -Maria

"If your guy drives around in a Prius, he does not have my approval." -Dad

"Fomo is definitely a thing in this family." -Eleni

"They ripped me off. I got a Greek salad and it didn't even have feta." -Papou, on a restaurant in Crete 

"And there's our neighbor with her pet goat. Wherever she goes she carries her cell phone and a gun." -Papou, on a friend in Crete as he shows us pictures of Greece

"I want the fire on the screen and the crackling but not the background music." -Dad, on a first world pain on the TV

"And then they had some American friends too." -Dad

The wall gets thinner and thinner

My master's thesis explored the topic of the wall between news content and advertising, and how newspaper executives were adjusting their communication in the changing media landscape to address each other and business needs appropriately.

This morning I came across this New York Times article that discusses how Time-owned publications will be having the newsroom staff report into business departments, a big change in how journalism operates.

Time Inc. will abandon the traditional separation between its newsroom and business sides, a move that has caused angst among its journalists. Now, the newsroom staffs at Time Inc.’s magazines will report to the business executives. Such a structure, once verboten at journalistic institutions, is seen as necessary to create revenue opportunities and stem the tide of declining subscription and advertising sales.

As a safe spin on the strategy, Time Inc. is making its former editor-in-chief Norman Pearlstine the "chief content officer" to oversee the change. Should be interesting!

Tips for surviving a mega conference call

In the business world, I quickly learned that large conference calls are often held with many constituents to a business to touch base on various projects.

Funny occurrences include people speaking over each other, forgetting to take your phone off of mute so no one can hear you respond, hearing background noise when people forget to mute themselves (ex: barking dogs, someone's keyboard, someone eating, etc) and having an actual meeting over the conference call by calling in with 3-5 people in a room, muting it and mocking those actually having the meeting.

So what are some tips to get by these crazy experiences as to not make them miserable wastes of your time?

• If you're listening on mute, pay enough attention to respond
• When you do respond, make sure you un-mute your phone so the call can hear you.
• If you're in an area with a lot of background noise (i.e. an airport), warn the call beforehand so they don't judge you. 
• Avoid being in settings like the airport mentioned above (and other public spaces) when possible. 
• When calling in from a large room, don't forget to ask questions and engage the remote audience - there is a reason you're including them. 
• It's sometimes awkward, but reach out by mentioning their names and asking if they have any questions and are following along.
• Pause every ~5-10 minutes and make sure everyone can see the presentation or Webinar. It assures that everyone is still on the call, still attentive and doesn't have a frozen sound or screen. 
• Don't trash talk the call or people on it ever; you'd be surprised at how often this happens and how often they forget to turn on mute. 

Good luck!

Detroit: Not as bad as you think

When I tell people that Starcom has a Detroit office, they often laugh. Who would want to go to the bankrupt city, nonetheless reside there?

A few weeks ago, I got to travel on business to Detroit and had an incredible experience. I had not seen the city since my family's road trip to Niagara Falls in middle school, and it was a nice refresher to see the city as an adult. Definitely a city to drive around, it reminded me of Philadelphia with its older, classic and historic feel but large metropolitan area.

My manager took me for a ride on the People Mover on our lunch break, a smaller public transit option that circles around downtown. All of the sports arenas were right in the middle of the city, along with Renaissance Center and the River Walk.

The only sign of the 'dying city' aspect America hears about Detroit now was a myriad of disorganized and unoccupied buildings in the downtown area. One particular building that we passed on the People Mover had large, dirty windows with desks full of shuffled papers on top, and when I asked what it was, I was told “Oh that’s the city hall building.” Besides that making me laugh, it was a pleasant trip and I look forward to going back and exploring more.  

The view from the SMG offices on Jefferson and my hotel, of the river and Renaissance Center on the left (GM headquarters)

Inside Renaissance Center, GM Headquarters practically has its own auto show and showroom open all year. There is also an adorable food court and restaurant scene so we ate at Zoup!, similar to Corner Bakery.

Another view of the River Walk and Windsor, Canada from the hotel

I'm thankful to have my godfather who lives in Detroit take me on a driving tour through the city. We ate at Public House in Ferndale, a cute neighborhood outside the city down the historic Woodward Avenue. He even drove me by 8 Mile Road on our way home.

The MoTown Museum

I discovered immediately that Detroit has a huge casino culture, especially in Greektown. There is an MGM, Caesar's Palace, Motor City Casino and others in Windsor. I look forward to checking out these nice, Greek restaurants and bakeries next time! Greektown also ends with a Greek Orthodox Church on the edge.

The art of making decisions

A simple phrase on the radio caught my ear:
"The most important decisions are often the easiest."

As the campaign tagline for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois, I am moved by this simple phrase that guides the power of making decisions. Naturally, I looked up Blue Cross Blue Shield's creative advertising agency of record, which is McGarry Bowen in Chicago. The campaign's video ads linked here are not my favorite, since I don't think they deliver on the insight as well as the audio spots do, but check them out and see what you think yourself.

The truth in this statement teaches a consumer more than how to overcome the overwhelming decision of where to get health insurance (wait, Healthcare.gov isn't working?). It allows individuals to relate to Blue Cross Blue Shield brand's position by considering the other decisions they make daily and in the grand scheme of their lives.

As humans and not potential consumers- where to live, what industry to work in, who to be friends with…should be simple decisions. These do not have to be complicated matters, because if you are truly confident and going to buy into your own decision, there will be no hesitation. This nicely-crafted tagline will stick in my brain as I strive to see the big picture in important decisions.

iPhone trick of the day

Want to send a text message to multiple people, but not want them to see who else it is going to on your iPhone?

Have no fear, a friend just taught me a solution to this!

• On your iPhone, go into Settings --> Messages
• Turn off iMessage.
• Under SMS/MMS, turn off Group Messaging
• Send a text and it will send as an SMS text to everyone on your list, not showing them who else is on the thread.

Ah-ha! 

Inspirational Pantene commercial from the Phillipines

My friend Kalyn sent me the link to this Pantene commercial the other day. Running in the Phillipines, the spot is executed very well and portrays a male "boss" and a female as "bossy." 

Not only is the insight behind the commercial brilliant, but it's a great stand on a company exemplifying corporate social responsibility. 'Mad World,' a key song in the movie Donnie Darko, is a fabulous song choice too - even re-sang by a woman and not the Tears for Fears original. Take a look! 

Facebook advertising knows best

Facebook and keyword ad targeting are on top of it this week! They know I was at the SEC Championship game and have been researching bowl games, so even though Mizzou unfortunately did not win, I'm receiving ads for hotels in Pasadena.

After the outcome of this weekend's college football games, Mizzou fans WISH we could go to the BCS Championship - but looks like Auburn got it this time. Sorry, Westin and Starwood - go target someone else! 

Rant: Free WiFi in public places

Chicago O’Hare is set up for wireless Internet, but still charges you to use it. Hotels I stay at at have free WiFi….only for Honors members of gold status or higher (for which I don’t qualify). The Merchandise Mart in Chicago has free WiFi as a "Boingo Hotspot," but you have to pay. 

I know everyone likes monetization, but can someone please tell me what the business strategy is behind charging for this service? Why are we paying for a service that is already set up to be free, and will eventually be free in many public locations? 

I really try to think from a business standpoint about the advantages and disadvantages of charging patrons to use WiFi access, and tried comparing it to paying for news content online, things you think about especially after going to Journalism School).

It only becomes ineffective because when wireless isn't free, people turn to alternate options (just using 3G data, using wireless in the lobby) and other effects result. At a hotel I stayed at in San Francisco, tons of people sat in the lobby to use wireless, so you can’t even find a seat because everyone is using the internet. Guess what, Boingo? I can walk to Starbucks next door to get wireless.

If it’s going to be simple efforts to beat around the bush, businesses should it easy themselves, stop being stuck up and get people to stay in their location by offering free wireless. 

Great coding, Klout

E-mail coding mistakes while attempting personalization, #firstworldproblems. What's my first name, Klout? 

Internet security: overload?

We memorize and keep lists on lists of passwords to all of our online accounts so we can login to our numerous accounts.

But has online security gotten ridiculous, or what?

I know robots have gotten good, but this blurry image came up as I reset the password to an account I had already made: 

Then, pre-written security questions when you don't have the choice are becoming crazier and crazier…my LEAST favorite subject in school:

Facebook makes you go through a ten-photo test for tagging too many people in photos, where you spend a few minutes identifying your own friends to prove your identity. 

Security is one thing, but all of these extra activities are a waste of time.

November quote list

Continuing the tradition, here are some highlights from November's quote list! To see September or October, click there or check out the quotes tag.  

On adulthood:

"Except you can golf for free the day of the wedding at this location." -Steve, on comparing wedding venues
"Why will you need to golf the day of our wedding?" -Helen

"My 14 year-old sister just told us to stay safe." -Susan, on her 25th birthday

"I don't think we're old until we're 30." -Hannah, on adulthood

"They just took fireball shots on their date- #worstdateever" -Hannah

"The first time I heard of a man playing flag football he was 7 and a boy." -Susan

"We're stealing cable - it involves a paper clip somehow." -Kara, on her apartment in Brooklyn

"I'm just really worried about his credit score because it'll be hard for us to buy a house." -a friend's cousin, who is only 21 years old and shouldn't be worrying about this

"And the Trader Joe's line is one in one out." -Alyssa, on living in New York City

"I’m really happy I ended up going because my mom’s cousin was there- she’s pregnant and I really want to be the Nouna." -Penelope, on the unwritten who will be the godmother contest

“I wanted to get you some ouzo but I didn’t have any left.” -a parishioner to Dad, typical Greeks regifting

A waiter talking about the crumber tool that scrapes crumbs at restaurants:
“It’s a weird thing that I never have the opportunity to use.” -the waiter at Ketel One Club in United Center

“He's like everyone's so nice here and I'm like who?” -Dean, about a classmate in the Loyola MBA program complimenting other students

“She's going to take you into the movie after a half hour Powerpoint presentation. …Just kidding.” -Screenvision guy at The Hunger Games: Catching Fire 

Next time we move, if it's us and were not engaged, I'm prioritizing in house laundry. -Hannah, on our apartment hunt

“And then after court I went and spent $600 at Old Orchard.” -Becca, on post-grad life

“I don’t have any hobbies. I just graduated college, I’m working, that’s enough.” -Becca, to the person screening her at jury duty asking about hobbies

“My likes are worth a million dollars. I’m just a passive observer on Facebook.” -Becca, on being a Facebook stalker but only rarely interacting 

"Dude, you're so maternal." -Max, to a guy friend- compliment or not? 

“We have a baby, do we still need to wait in the line?” -Man at Kohl’s on Black Friday

“Absolutely!” -Employee at Kohl’s

“My dog is at home and I have to feed it, can I not wait in line? Who do people think they are?” -Employee

“She was getting rid of me to go socialize with Erma!” -Meredith, on her grandmother at the nursing home

“We have an under 5, under 30 and old people table.” -George S., on his family Thanksgiving 

“I took a day off of work to take Yiayia to the DMV.” -George S., on life in a Greek family

“I think that I don’t have money for food next week. Like I have two dates so I cover enough meals. No I’m not joking. Tickets are 200+.” -a friend, on post-graduate life as a broke grad paying off loans

Airport experiences: 

"If you have items in your pocket, you'll receive a free massage compliments of our friends at TSA." -TSA woman

"Daddy what does delayed mean?" -A 6-year-old girl
[The whole gate for the ORD to LGA turns around in shock and mouths drop]

"That's a bad word at the airport honey." -6-year-old's father

"Your luggage is too fat m'aam." -American Airlines guy

"No it isn't, it fits!" -Woman stuffs it into the test bag rack

"But can you get it out?" -Airport attendant

“I feel so bad when all the flights get cancelled because all the passengers are pissed and I’m like YES!” -Hannah's friend who is a flight attendant

And to end with some amusing family quotes: 

"A lady stopped by to bring some bread from the monastery. I wish you were here, since I’m not supposed to eat bread." -Yiayia Nikie, on getting rid of food

“And we have evidence that someone is staring through that window. A raccoon.” -Dad

“When my kid has flat Stanley, I’m going to tear it up and say you’re not doing this.” -Eleni

  

“Once I crash a car, you can yell at me for my driving.” -Eleni

If I go through your Facebook pictures I can see the guys hugging you extra tight and see who’s going out with you. -Dad

“My boyfriend, Alex, and I decided that if we ever have a kid we’re going to name him or her Alex so we can say hi, we’re Alex. All 3 of us.” -our cousin Alex

“Junior year my bio teacher had acetone, which is the stuff that makes the nail polish smell good.” -Eleni, on enjoying the smell of nail polish

“That’s not FOMO, that’s MO.” -Dad, on not being tagged in a Facebook album

“And Scott taught me how to do checkins so even though we flew into Midway, I don’t want my friends to think I’m cheap so I checked into O’Hare when we drove by.” -Thea Lucy, on checking into Four Square from the airport

Me: Papou, did you bring the cranberry sauce?

Papou: No, but this parishioner made us this jello.

(Greeks mooching)

Papou: Have you decided on a major yet, Eleni?

Eleni: Yes, I’m going to study English and secondary education. I’m going to be a hot high school teacher. 

“Describe the cranberry vodka for me. What does it taste like?” -Papou, at Thanksgiving dinner

“It doesn’t matter what was in our house, it could all be considered a projectile weapon.” -Dad, on growing up in the Artemas home

"I’m going to post a picture of pumpkin pie online and everyone’s going to comment JEALOUS. I don’t agree with posting pictures of food on the Internet." -Dad, on Thanksgiving 

“Sometimes if you want things done well, you have to do them yourself.” -Papou, and we wonder where we get our stubbornness from 

A brilliant tagline

I recently saw a tagline for the popular app Snapchat - that said:
Snapchat is the fastest way to share a moment.

In a file on Snapchat's website geared toward parents, the website elaborates on this, and writes: 

"Snapchat creates a place to be funny, honest or however else you might feel when you take and share a snap with family and friends. It’s sharing that lives in the moment, and stays in the moment."

For having a 23-year-old CEO that rejected a $3 billion buyout from Facebook, I think they're doing things pretty smart. Positioning themselves as 'momentary' is a unique selling point against sending a photo from any time via a text message, and the tagline is memorable. As one of the app's users, and a photo-texter as well, I find myself sharing comical tidbits or quick moments out with others with the rest of my friends and family members on the app. 

Way to go on doing your research, Snapchat!