August quotes

Funny quotes this month about social media & relationships, enjoy!

"When Chris was little, he wanted to have nine kids so he could have an entire baseball team." -Lauren

“By the way can you tell us your unit number so we can see how much you’ve paid on your mortgage?” -Harriet

“We're not in 2050, it's not like people don't still watch DVDs.” -Joy H

“And then there was the Cracker Barrel fiasco with a 30-45 minute wait…and we waited.” -Eleni, #Artemasfamilyproblems

"He has a cat. Strike one.” -Hannah 

“He didn't buy cable last year because he had my Netflix password. So I changed it on him. Take that.” -Kaleigh, on her ex boyfriend

“He reminded us he could be meeting his future wife, we reminded him he could be meeting his potential murderer.” -Laura, on a friend's trip to visit a girl from Tinder

"His parents go to auctions and estate sales like every weekend and just buy him furniture." -Ricky, on how his house is so furnished

“Why would you ever have a company meeting at a popular bar on a rooftop on a Thursday? Maybe you’re not a good ad firm to hire.” -Harriet

“And our bill is only $14. God bless.” -Harriet, on the total happy hour check for three people 

“I had my most popular Instagram and Facebook post in the same day ever, and it was of my classroom. Cumulatively it’s the most likes I’ve gotten in a single post.” -Shelley

"Don't you know I turn into Enrique in like 5 seconds?" - Brock

"She picked out her ring at Costco because it was $4,000 instead of $6,000." -Irina

"I don't want that much of a ring, Mom." -Irina

"Stop selling yourself short." -Her Mom

"First of all if you're having your wedding at a winery, get stemless glasses." -Brooke

“If you’ve been dating for six years and go to a foreign country and come back without a ring, there is definitely a problem.” -John

"They're not really good friends...If I had to rank them on a social media scale, they're Snapchat friends and like each other's photos occasionally." -Helen

“What are they divorced? It's like a cat. Someone just has to take custody, you can’t switch off day to day.” -Harriet

“And no one knew the cupid shuffle.” -Brock, on a wedding

“It’s been the best birth control ever. I don’t even want to think about having kids anymore.” -Helen, on having a dog

“Who gets married on a Monday?” -Alex C. 

“I have a lot of work which is kind of annoying.” -Eleni
“Oh, you have to do work while you’re at college?” -Katie

“She must be using the wrong filters.” -Emily S, on bad Instagram photos 

“For every vendor they had, they had a sign up for where they were from in Greece.” -Shaina, on an Indianapolis Greek fest