Summer means a lot of friends, traveling & fun gatherings after work. I've had the opportunity to see a lot of my best friends from home and college this month, so most of these quotes are characteristic of their personalities.
You might not find them funny if you don't know them, but overall, they're pretty reflective of who they are and entertaining regardless.
Enjoy!
- "The scenery isn't even that great. my question is why they were
even there in the first place." -Helen
- "We're all going to go get on this super skinny dock. Who does
that?" -Alima
- "Whoever thought that was a good idea is dumb." -Sam
- "We are staying FAR FAR away from all water." -Lexi
- “It’s because you have too many people in the darn wedding party. I just
get really annoyed when you see the wedding party and half the people invited
to the wedding are in it.” -Alex
- “Why are the bridesmaids not helping the bride?” -Lauren
Everything else:
“I got in the elevator the other day and thought it smelled like Alex,
then I realized it was because it was the smell of coffee.” -Zach, Alex’s
boyfriend
“You seem very grandpa-like.”
“I live in southern Florida and had cataract surgery, I am a grandpa. I
was at the pool last week & the only other person there was 92.” -Zach
“Except I want to cancel it because I pay for the Netflix subscription for my whole family. I started trying to charge my sisters 50 cents a movie but they weren’t going for it.” -Anna
“He does the PR for the lighthouse for the deaf and disabled.” -Jordin,
“Can't they not see or hear?” -Sam
“It's more to get money for said people.” -Jordin
“It looks like a green alien gave you a hickey.” -John, on what people look like after the color run
“Greek guys have it so easy. You come to something like this and it's
like fishing with dynamite." -John
“Nice boy, he’s been dating the same girl since high school, good family,
grandfather’s a judge.” -Mom
“And she is such a know-it-all, that’s coming from me.” -Shaina
“It’s Drew’s wedding. And I’ve never met Drew until this weekend because
90% of their communication is through League of Nerds. He proposed to his
fiancé by coding this website.” -Laura
“Don’t underestimate the power of not responding to a text.” -Meredith
Hayford
“These are Greek boys. What do you expect?” -Stepheno
“Going on a trip with a dude means that I’ll keep the pictures and they won’t
get deleted when we break up.” -Stepheno
"There are certain people that even if they post a sucky photo you
like it anyway.” -Casey, on Instagram
"WHY?"
“You want them to know you're paying attention.” -Casey
“It's scientifically proven that bridesmaids don't need a +1.” -Kathryn
“I liked Sherman’s Instagram, doesn't that mean I'm flirting with him? I
should comment - maybe it would seal the deal.” -Meredith
“So what all is in this area?” -Joy, a non-Chicaogan
“Nothing.” -Chicagoans
“Like if someone told me to meet them here, I'd say no.” -Stacey, on US Cellular Field
“What don't you like about the giraffe?” -Katie
“It's wrinkly, it needs Botox.” -Sherman
“Well you would want to put me down right now.” -Old Grandma next to us
at the zoo
“Mixed humans are a lot better looking then mixed animals.” -Sherman
“Well he lives in the suburbs & has insurance.” -Hannah, on a boy at
the bar
“If showers were really that great, you would keep having parties like
that. But no one does. They should just make these co-ed and not all women.”
-Kaleigh’s mom
“I knew I was low on toilet paper so I just took some from the bagel
place.” -Kathryn
“Brides without siblings are the worst.” -Kathryn
“If you really don't think guys and girls can be friends, why did you ask
to meet up?” -Sherman, on an ex-girlfriend
“And I think they're going to get really annoying about that and think
we're getting married all because he's Greek, a future doctor, and we're
friends. so kill me now #greekgirlprobs -Maria
“It’s okay, my family has 35 tickets to Lollapalooza.” -Elizabeth
“Naming ticket prices it took me to Priceline.” -Christina P, on looking up how to price boat cruise tickets
"I already told him that if he didn’t like my pledge family it’s a
dealbreaker. -Shelley, on her boyfriend
“They had coffee on the porch and chatted at 6 in the morning. Who does
that? Is this what 29 year olds do?" -Meredith
"And then I'll go pick him up from Midway. Should I just break up a
him now?" -Eleni, on picking up her boyfriend for a visit
"I can't think of anything in the world, that if you added bacon to
it, wouldn't be good." -Greg
"And then mom called McDonald's to see what time they serve
breakfast until." -Eleni
"Michelle you don't have string? You don't make friendship bracelets
anymore?" -Michelle's cousin, on sending a note to neighbors through their
balcony
"This is the beginning of an SVU episode. I'm going to get
stolen." -Lauren, on walking home alone at night and a man approaching her on the street
“It’s easier to recall the calls I didn’t return today. The article says church officials did not respond. That’s me!” -Dad
“Everyone's streaming the World Cup so we got a mass email about how our
WiFi has slowed down, and where the games are playing in the building.” -Liz
“Greater than sign! It was a last minute decision but applies to a lot of
decisions. Pizza is greater than salad, wine > water.” -Sam, on her new
tattoo
"What a morning. Every 10 feet, stop, “Waiting for signal
clearance.”"–Ricky, problems on the CTA
"Did you eat all your gnocchi because I'm totally about to."
-Shelley
"And I learned two things - no wedding outside and choose an easy
hashtag. I think I spelled theirs three different ways." -Shelley
"You guys are going to love this. I found out on Instagram that this
horrible girl in my pledge class is getting married the same day I am."
-Helen
"He's really cute but has the watch of a 10 year old boy. It looks
like it's from a happy meal." -Helen, on our server at dinner
"What could she possibly get annoyed at you for? She's so
patient." -Steve, to a friend
"Sometimes I text her and I read it, then don't answer."
-Friend
"Dude, you have to set up text reminders." -Steve
"You have to like my photo from yesterday since it only has
10." -Helen, to Steve
"They also have the weirdest proposal I've stalked on
Facebook." -Helen
"I don't trust Mary Jo because she doesn't have a LinkedIn."
-Helen, on someone in the business world
