Make a commitment & enjoy time with your friends

A lot of people say that the way we socialize is different these days. Making plans through texting, tweeting our every move or Facebook chatting people you would never acknowledge in a crowd are definitely normal occurrences. This surplus of ways to connect gives us so many outlets for information overload that we set high expectations in our own plans with our friends.

I see this happen with my friends at home, school, groups of Greek people, other interns and even my friends' friends. One person (or group of people) initiates a hangout, dinner or party and others "commit." Every invitee considers their RSVP pending until the event starts. So when the actual event approaches, it's time to figure out what the scene's like, who is there, if it's fun and if the people there deem it worth your time (all decided via text messages, of course). And if it appears to be 'happening' or a group of people you like are there- you go. If not, you skip out.

There are plenty of inherent flaws with this routine.

• Our lack of commitment. The definition of commit has changed. "Attending" on Facebook is a loose term, telling someone in a text message that you'll stop by or make an appearance is polite, and you can only really depend on your best friends to be there with you. We need to learn what it is to make a promise, commitment or trust will never exist.
• Everyone has different definitions of fun. The tweets and statuses being posted reflect only one person's point of view. Only you know who you are compatible with and how you connect to others in social settings. What could be the night of your life could be incredibly boring to one of your best friends. 
• Most importantly, you're letting someone else down. Just because you aren't incredibly close with someone doesn't give you permission to be deceptive. Committing gets someone else excited to host something, they spend their resources trying to please you and the rest of a large group, and when you don't show up, you're hurting them--it's not just on your own terms of making a decision.

We must learn that it doesn't matter who else is there. When someone invites you somewhere, consider the purpose of why you do (or don't) want to attend. Then provide an honest answer- don't lead people on. When you aren't too pleased to be going somewhere, think: what were you expecting to happen? Who did you secretly hope will show up? What made the group boring or fun? That's why knowing your intentions before going in is helpful. If someone bores you that much or feels like such a forced part of your routine, think about what traits that person or group has that makes you want to put in the time, effort and resources to be their friend.

Some of the most exciting times in your life will be those spontaneous situations where it didn't matter who you were with- you had a great time. This is what I plan to remember as I enter my last year of college--prioritizing who to spend time with, where to show up and not trying to make it all or please everyone.  When you attend parties for acquaintances or classmates you might not keep in touch with later in life, go happily and enjoy their presence, but make your RSVP clear to be a reputable person. Figure out who your real friends are and give them the respect they deserve-- because you don't want to take the opportunity to have time with the people you're closest with for granted.

Family adventure

After hearing about my sister and some of my friends' experiences skydiving last summer, it sounded like something I wanted to try. This spring, I stumbled across a Groupon for skydiving in Wisconsin--and figured, what a great graduation present to myself! My sisters and I went on this adventure together this past Saturday- jumping out of a plane from 14,000 feet in the air.

Eleni, me and Maria- all in our college shirts!

Many asked us if we were scared, and none of us really were. I thought I'd panic the morning of the dive, but never felt a fear in my stomach. The biggest scare came from signing three packets of waivers claiming the skydiving company cannot be sued for injuries, death or any issues that arise in your experience. My sisters and I were those people that actually read the waiver, and it brought more ideas to our heads. You sign off on saying the company is not responsible for any mid-air collisions, issues with the harness or other equipment. You initial a statement that says "I understand that parachute jumping will expose me to risk of personal injury or death." They really know how to get you- you can pay $500 to NOT sign parts of the waiver that let you sue them. Nice to know that if you die skydiving, it costs the price of the dive + $500 to sue them. Oh America.

Enough about legal documentation. The experience is technically "tandem skydiving," where there is an experienced skydiver behind you and your harnesses are latched together when you jump. You sit through a short class of instructions, where we learned that diving from 14,000 feet up gives you slightly over a minute of free fall, then some parachute time. There is no depth perception at that altitude, and you fall at 135 mph, and when the parachute goes up at 5,000 feet, you slow to 24 mph. Another reassuring statistic they provide is "jumping out of this plane is statistically safer than you driving here." Interesting!

Us on the plane with our tandem buddies and photographers

We waited a few hours, got harnessed up and met our instructors and photographers that would be on the plane with us! They document and videotape your experience too and do a great job (see photos below).  Maria, Eleni and I jumped from youngest to oldest, and all enjoyed it.

The coolest aspect to me was that it didn't feel like "diving" or "freefalling" - it felt like floating or flying in the air. The speed was unreal and seeing the land below, watching you get your depth perception back and seeing lake Michigan was phenomenal. It was the slowest minute of my life, taking in the beauty and not feeling a bit of fear doing it. The temperature was about ~3 degrees colder for every 1,000 feet up, so the cold air felt amazing. No one got sick, and I was the only sister who felt slightly nauseous after flipping and spinning in circles with my tandem instructor.

I'd highly recommend skydiving to anyone interested in being adventurous and assure you that it will be one of the most captivating minutes of your life!

Check these pictures out to see more!

Time flies by

I can't decide if summer goes by faster when you're at home--mainly staying in one place--or exploring new territory. In the past, I've had more extended travel experiences that broke off the summer into segments, and now, any travel I plan is on weekends for quick trips out of town. Living in other cities for those longer periods of time requires adjustment time and sometimes has felt slow, but you always leave feeling like there was more to do and how the experience flew by. Being at home, in Chicago for that matter, has given me a different concept of time. A different mindset than I have while I'm at school or traveling.

At school, I'm always mentally ahead of where I need to be, logistics-wise. My schedule has always revolved around others--classes, meetings, activities & friends--and you have to keep yourself up to speed. At the end of every night, all of my stuff is put away and I'm prepared to start off fresh in the morning, ready to go for the next day's plans. Sleep is irrelevant, because my outfit needs to be laid out, transportation planned & the day is on a pretty strict timeline. I guess you could call it living for the future.

At home, I'm living in the present. Waking up, getting on the train, conquering the ~hour commute to work each way, working the 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. life, having some sort of social plans and suddenly, it's 10 p.m. already. Go to bed, rinse, lather, repeat. Just kidding, but the process goes on. I often feel like I never left work once I return there in the morning. Each week goes by as its own entity, each weekend after, and the cycle continues. Suddenly, three weeks of relaxation and six weeks in the work force have gone by. I've rarely slept for more than six hours on any night and can't seem to catch a break. Unfortunately, as a result, I feel like I'm constantly falling behind on my own goals and living in rewind. 

But just because I haven't gotten to achieve my to do list of scrapbooking, cleaning or completing other long term projects doesn't mean it hasn't been an enjoyable summer. Forcing myself to do one of these things instead of taking up spontaneous plans would contradict living in the present. Catching up with an old friend or high school acquaintance on the train might be more valuable than rushing to read a book to cross it off of a list. Visiting Milwaukee, Champaign, Kansas City, Mexico & San Diego in the past few weeks has been incredibly fun, even if I haven't vacuumed my room but stare at that instruction on my to do list daily. I enjoy quality time with high school and college friends-in person, oh the phone or via email-- and it's great.

So will this worldview of living in the present translate to my graduate school career? Or will I need to revert back to planning SO FAR ahead? I'll have my own bedroom (and bathroom!) for the first time and will already have plans you on more of your own time instead of what it's like living with roommates. Two semesters will already go by quickly, but do you make more out of it by living in the present, the future or a combination of the two? I guess we will see as time goes on!

Smartphoneless

A few hours ago as I was loading the dishwasher, my iPhone slid off of the counter and the screen stopped functioning. It digitally created white and blue lines that filled the screen and didn't permit me to see the actual phone, but I was able to tell that the operating system was still working. I have insurance, the phone didn't crack and overall, it should be a pretty easy fix.

But I freaked out. Faster heart rate, tears and being upset at the situation. It's a Sunday night so there was nowhere open for me to get the issue fixed, and because of my work and commute hours, I'm going to have to rush to scrunch in some time at Best Buy to see what can be done. 

It's a pretty normal feeling these days to be let down without a cell phone; they are vital to our communication and the rise of the mobile market and smartphones in particular is massive. As I sat down in silence to think about what I could do, analyze why exactly I was upset and how many other ways I could communicate with people, I determined some reasons for this depression.

A simple one could be our reliance on smartphones. My tentative plan for Monday was staying in the city, taking the L to Lincoln Park and meeting friends for dinner, taking the L back to the suburbs and calling for a ride home. Without a phone, I can't call for rides, map out where I'm going or check the train schedule. Thankfully, I quickly realized that because of my do-it-yourself personality with these things, this was only a minute reason because I don't rely on applications as much as some of my friends do. I wasn't worried about getting lost, having a mobile computer to save information on or being "cellphoneless"- I've spent chunks of time out of the country where I function perfectly fine without a phone (despite how much I love to talk). 

The bulk of my sadness about the broken phone was not how much it would inconvenience me, but how much it inconveniences those around you. I was in the middle of a few conversations, waiting for some calls back and now don't know what these people said. I have to drastically change my plans for Monday because I can't confirm where exactly I'll meet my friends to commute together before dinner. And I can't communicate with my parents to pick me up, so now I have to use a car and pay to park at the local train station. People rely on others being accessible, and even if they're not responsive to calls, texts or emails, others are fairly certain that they notice them. 

Therefore, I'm hoping to take some days away from my phone and trust that those I'm close with have other ways of contacting me, like a house phone number or email. I sincerely apologize for anyone I have inconvenienced and hope that the issue is fixable! 

Marina Keegan's inspirational writing

Last week, a Yale student journalist and recently graduated senior Marina Keegan died in a car accident. The tragedy received national attention because of stories Keegan had written that solicited conversation across the web. I read through some of her clips from the Yale Daily News, and respect not only Marina's fascinating writing ability, but the pieces she wrote and the themes these uncovered. I want to share three of her stories and encourage you to check them out.

The opposite of loneliness: Right before her college graduation, Marina wrote about the feeling that is the opposite of being lonely, for which no words can describe. Such a feeling is so prominent on a college campus where you really feel at home, because of living in dormitories, close circles of friends and courses and activities that bring people together. She explains how this feeling is something to celebrate and not solely believe you can only live once. We should strive to live the opposite of loneliness- maintaining relationships and pursuing opportunities that let us enjoy life.

Even artichokes have doubts: Being the story that sparked conversation across the country, Marina explains how a large chunk of college graduates enter finance and consulting professions after college. She writes that business recruiters have the system down, know how to recruit undergrads and make jobs that they were unaware of and even uninterested in seem incredibly appealing. Many of these jobs contribute to keeping the rich richer and studies report that people want to fulfill altruistic goals. Because of this, Marina drives students to maintain their passions and not let a salary or benefits drive your career choice.

Senior year without society: In this piece, she writes about how you don't need to be tapped into a secret society to enjoy college and meet others you would not have met. With this tradition at Yale being just as prominent at Mizzou, this well-written essay keeps us looking at our experiences with optimism and not hostility.

Graduation Photos

My parents and I outside the Quad

Lexi and I with Barbara, our mentor at the Honors College Commencement

Shelley and I in our graduation dresses after the Honors Ceremony!

Some of the Phi Mu J-School graduates 

me, Gabrielle, Lindsay and Krystin- all Twainers who graduated in three years

J-School Graduation- Brian Brooks' retirement photo

My parents and I with the diploma

My MOJO team 

Sherman, Shaina, me and Andrew

Emily and I outside of Memorial Union, by Kathryn Jankowski

Graduation photo by Alyssa Goodman

By Alyssa Goodman

Sorority Experience

As the end of the school year approached, one tradition common in most Greek chapters is that the upcoming graduates are given an opportunity to say one last goodbye before receiving their alumni status. Phi Mu holds a ceremony for this, typically at our last chapter meeting, and it is always very emotional. You reflect upon your memories, sorority leadership experiences and what your membership has taught you over the years. 

The Phi Mu seniors before our ceremony

The week this happened, one of my friends in another sorority said something very meaningful about this transition. She explained, “The person you were freshman year when you joined the sorority is completely different than who you are now.” After hearing this, the statement constantly ran through my head as I thought of how I and my friends had changed since Bid Day the Saturday before freshman year of college. It was so accurate- I AM a totally different and developed individual than I was in August of 2009. 

Some friends and I before my last Phi Mu formal

Then, I thought I would graduate in four years. Everyone in my pledge class's potential had yet to be measured, and leadership opportunities were free reign. Where one would go, what she would pursue and what direction it would take her in was all up for question. Who your core "group" of friends would be within the sisterhood had yet to be determined. And three years later, with these speeches, it all comes together.

You wish your friends the best in their transitions, reflect on accomplishments and head in new directions. I can leave Phi Mu knowing how I can help serve in the future, knowing who I want to stay in touch with and having an amazing pledge family I never would have thought I would be blessed with. I can walk around the house confidently, happily take photos by the mantle and sit in the dining room without hesitation of not knowing the name of the girl next to me. I am the one answering younger members' questions and not asking. I can talk about my experiences serving on dozens of committees and working as public relations chair, vice president and sisterhood relations chairman in job interviews and explain how much I learned about work ethic and more. 

me, Alex and Emily smiling in the Formal Living Room

As you progress through your years in a sorority or Greek chapter, or any organization for that matter, think about how you've changed since Day 1. Did you accomplish what you set out to? Gain what you wanted from your membership? Did you fulfill the organization's mission and represent the group well? If not, go do it. You'll only have limited time before your active years go away and alumni status begins :).