Make a commitment & enjoy time with your friends

A lot of people say that the way we socialize is different these days. Making plans through texting, tweeting our every move or Facebook chatting people you would never acknowledge in a crowd are definitely normal occurrences. This surplus of ways to connect gives us so many outlets for information overload that we set high expectations in our own plans with our friends.

I see this happen with my friends at home, school, groups of Greek people, other interns and even my friends' friends. One person (or group of people) initiates a hangout, dinner or party and others "commit." Every invitee considers their RSVP pending until the event starts. So when the actual event approaches, it's time to figure out what the scene's like, who is there, if it's fun and if the people there deem it worth your time (all decided via text messages, of course). And if it appears to be 'happening' or a group of people you like are there- you go. If not, you skip out.

There are plenty of inherent flaws with this routine.

• Our lack of commitment. The definition of commit has changed. "Attending" on Facebook is a loose term, telling someone in a text message that you'll stop by or make an appearance is polite, and you can only really depend on your best friends to be there with you. We need to learn what it is to make a promise, commitment or trust will never exist.
• Everyone has different definitions of fun. The tweets and statuses being posted reflect only one person's point of view. Only you know who you are compatible with and how you connect to others in social settings. What could be the night of your life could be incredibly boring to one of your best friends. 
• Most importantly, you're letting someone else down. Just because you aren't incredibly close with someone doesn't give you permission to be deceptive. Committing gets someone else excited to host something, they spend their resources trying to please you and the rest of a large group, and when you don't show up, you're hurting them--it's not just on your own terms of making a decision.

We must learn that it doesn't matter who else is there. When someone invites you somewhere, consider the purpose of why you do (or don't) want to attend. Then provide an honest answer- don't lead people on. When you aren't too pleased to be going somewhere, think: what were you expecting to happen? Who did you secretly hope will show up? What made the group boring or fun? That's why knowing your intentions before going in is helpful. If someone bores you that much or feels like such a forced part of your routine, think about what traits that person or group has that makes you want to put in the time, effort and resources to be their friend.

Some of the most exciting times in your life will be those spontaneous situations where it didn't matter who you were with- you had a great time. This is what I plan to remember as I enter my last year of college--prioritizing who to spend time with, where to show up and not trying to make it all or please everyone.  When you attend parties for acquaintances or classmates you might not keep in touch with later in life, go happily and enjoy their presence, but make your RSVP clear to be a reputable person. Figure out who your real friends are and give them the respect they deserve-- because you don't want to take the opportunity to have time with the people you're closest with for granted.