The cell-phone-less life: learning to say no

I have a problem. I am attached to my cell phone. It does not leave my side. I have never once left it in my room, put it on silent of even turned it off this semester.

The idea sparked into my head that I should just go a day without my phone and see how things differ. In a plea to start saying no to more things in life and not trying to accomplish everything and more, I left my phone at home in my room, on silent, on top of my desk and will not check it until I return home for the day around 7:30 p.m. Twelve hours without a phone to contact the world. What would you do?

A quick disclaimer- I do have my computer with me and have been replying to e-mails, but this was not part of the experiment. The mission per se was that anything I am doing, I am always in contact with someone else via text or calling. I have a break in between 1:45 and 3:30 p.m. on this day in my schedule, and reflected upon what I usually get done during this hour. Even if I set an agenda and to-do list of things to accomplish, I realize they do not get done to the extent I want them to. Why? Because I am either calling people to catch up (something I value), texting someone I will see in a few minutes or hours, or running errands and favors that probably never would have even needed to be done if I wouldn't have said yes.

I cannot say no. This is a current issue I am working on with my friends, acquaintances and co-members of organizations, but people know this about me and take full advantage of it. I have spent hours driving people to places I don't even know to go because I feel bad that they have no other way of getting there. Gone to various buildings on campus to print assignments for group members because I am under the impression my grade will suffer if they do not complete their part. Helped people with quizzes when I should be writing a Spanish paper. Making documents and schedules for people who whine about not being able to organize their lives. Meeting up for coffee when I should be preparing for an exam.

And when I think about it, this sounds selfish, but I could probably finish my work and maybe have a little more free time if I toned those other errands down and focused on what I need to do. Do I regret helping my friends? Not in the least. Do I get aggravated at these errands and last minute wants sometimes? Yes. But I fulfill them anyway. Because I have an empathy problem and think that if I was in their position, I would take advantage of me too. But people barely return the favor and I continue to live. It's just how my life functions.

I've had some time to get ahead this afternoon and I've written two analytical blog posts, ran some errands on my own and achieved more than I thought I would. Potential things that could have happened with a phone include spontaneous calls and texts that inhibit me from paying attention in class or cause me to stress out about what needs to be done next. Or texts from people asking for help on a project or a paper that would cause me to immediately stop what I'm doing and go meet up with them. The thought of saying I have something else to do does not even cross my mind. Thus, the lack of cell phone usage this afternoon is a test in saying no to things that if really needed to be done, should have been contacted earlier. To warn my acquaintances, I posted my Facebook status that I was going phoneless for the day. I have already been questioned by three people in my classes how it's going. Note: these are not people I talk to on a regular basis. Goodness.

I am halfway through the day. There are several alarming reasons informing me that this problem persists in my life and it's even making me depressed that this is even the case. Examples include:

• During one of my lecture classes, I envisioned that my phone was ringing and I got really embarrassed that it interrupted class. But that didn't happen. I guess I just wish my phone was ringing/maybe it was ringing back at home and my cell phone and I have that sixth sense with each other. Yes, I just personified my cell phone. But without even having possession of the phone, I believe it rang because that's what I'm used to. Sad story #1.
• I am wearing a jacket with pockets and have these moments where I feel my phone vibrating and dig in my pocket to get it (one of its usual locations). But the phone is on my desk in my room....and there is no vibration I am actually feeling. I am just so adjusted to getting text messages at this time of day that it's instinctual to take my phone out.
• After proposing an argument at a TA's office hours, I received five points back on a test. My first feeling was to text my friends in that class about my excitement. But there was no phone in my pocket. Upon reflection, I thought...maybe if I eliminated the ability to do this, they don't actually need to know. In fact, they probably don't care. With unlimited texting, messages have lost their value and become so pointless. So, I got a few points back, the world continues.
• I'm sure more will come since it is only 3 p.m.

I encourage you all to participate because I feel so relaxed. As I acknowledged before, I did not cut of all contact due to e-mail and this blog obviously, but I hope you look forward to hearing the results of this experiment!

Networking, networking, networking...

I am a 19-year-old college sophomore who has two more years of undergraduate schooling. But we live in America so it's never too late to start thinking about where I'm getting a job in two (or three) years, right?

I don't know whether to attribute it to being at the University of Missouri or just being a young adult in the United States, but everything revolves around networking. It's all about the future. If I don't go meet the Associated Press recruiter when he is at MU now and today, the impression is given that I will just not get a job. If one of my parents or grandparents' best friends from who knows where does not own, manage or work as a CEO of a major agency, I won't get hired!

We do not have time to focus on the here and now. The perfect job opportunity, mentor to meet, or professor could be right in front of our eyes in a specific course but we would not even realize it. Students are too busy seeing what else they can sign up for 'networking'-wise that I don't think I don't think many would discover the opportunities right in front of their faces. If they are following Arik Hanson's blog (a popular blogger in America) or seeing who one can find on LinkedIn or Twitter during class, how are those professors supposed to write recommendations?

I advocate futuristic thinking, but sometimes it gets to be a little too much. I learned the value this summer of recognizing what's right in front of you and appreciating it. But now I am back at school and revert back to the norm (note: the norm for Type A personalities and my friends)- going after every opportunity. I enjoy those opportunities, but I need to define my limits. I took advantage of two opportunities in the past week that were beneficial to my college career and 100 percent networking, but remember not to go too overboard.

Friday, Nov. 5, I went to Kansas City with AAF Mizzou (Advertising Club, American Advertising Federation = AAF) to tour three agencies. We went to Two West, VML and Barkley & Associates. They were all prominent advertising agencies in the KC area and potential employers. The atmosphere was a lot more relaxed than one would anticipate, and the students in attendance did everything from listen to employees speak and give us their job descriptions, brainstorm about potential client campaigns and watch and analyze promotional videos.

But one way I applied the networking lessons I advocate is that while I saved every business card and the contact information of the associates, I have to remember...I am only a sophomore. Most of these agencies aren't even taking people my age as interns. One might call me an 'overachiever,' but that is not the case. I'm learning what interests me and how to apply it to what I do now. Last year I could not have told you what media planning or being a public relations account executive was, and now I can say that I am considering them for potential careers. The more I hear about what these people do and what you can do in college to prepare you for that, the more excited I get to enter the work force. So my idea of networking is to learn about myself and what I want out of my future in the process. I also met a variety of great individuals that I never would have met if I did not go on this trip. I was in the car for four hours with four people I had never met, and we had great conversation about the agencies, jobs and life at Mizzou right now. Plus, we had an awesome lunch with carne asada at an authentic Mexican restaurant called Manny's in KC. Bonus! Thus, this trip was a worthwhile experience and I look forward to more AAF trips in the future!

This past weekend fully encompassed networking as Saturday, I attended Mizzou's 1st Annual Leadership Academy. The schedule of events for the day consisted of two speakers and a closing address by Chancellor Brady Deaton, the opportunity to attend four breakout workshop sessions in a variety of topics, and a nice lunch and networking reception in the New Student Center. It was hard to decide which sessions to attend since there were a multitude of options, but I went to one on event planning (typical), Leadership Leverage- how to apply your college experiences with organizations to your future, leading effective meetings (what I will be doing as Phi Mu's vice president) and networking & connections.

Me, Susan, Katie and Stephanie at the reception.

Six Phi Mu women were in attendance!

While learning a lot of information from these four sessions, the last value I learned about networking is not only the value of knowing adults in the professional field, but people on your own campus. The networking and connecting session ended with a speed-dating atmosphere of getting to know the people in the room, and I met students from a variety of campus organizations. Not only will I appreciate their kindness and friendship, but there is a two-way benefit in networking. We can acknowledge each other and participate in each other's events. I may or may not have recruited Relay For Life teams and Maneater advertisements in these conversations. But I also learned about how I can help one of the hall councils with not even too much effort. It was an excellent opportunity to attend the first time the university held this event and meet so many leaders from around campus, and I look forward to attending the Academy in the future!

To conclude, I encourage you to see all the benefits of networking, while also living in the present. Be professional in what you do, but keep your eyes open and appreciate the wonderful experiences and people you meet by doing it.

Now I need some more business professional attire, huh? With all these interviews, events and elections in the past week, my suit outfits, collared shirts and high waisted skirts are exhausted!

Sometimes I make time to be social

Despite the past week's busy schedule, social interaction and the kick-off to Christmas season were totally necessary.

Here is mine and Kathryn's room with our tree and colored lights! Due to last year's organization, it was a fairly quick process after formal chapter to set everything up because Kathryn and I being the people we are, all of the decorations and ornaments were in one box prepared for Nov. 1. We rock like that.

Amy, Cliff, Asher, Andrew, Sherman and I on our way to Harpos

A much needed Mark Twain reunion hosted by Elizabeth! Many of us crowded the J-Slums to hang out and it was nice to see such a variety of people to catch up with.

Look at that Twain love

Some of the group at Brittany's 21st Birthday Dinner!

Jenny, Amy, Jen, me and Katie!

Keeping to the rules

Yesterday night at 6 p.m. was the kickoff to the Missouri Student Association (MSA) 2011 presidential election. After much campaigning from the three president-vice presidential pairings-- Hansen-Oxenreider, Travis-Horan and Woods-Moon, the election was postponed until next week because of two complaints filed against one of the candidate pairings for illegal campaigning.

This so-called "illegal campaigning" was sending out mass e-mails soliciting themselves. Let's put this into perspective: we live in a world of technological communication, Facebook, Google everything....and sending out an e-mail to a group of people endorsing yourself is illegal. You can have websites, Facebook events, advertisements and fliers...but can't send out a mass e-mail or tell people to vote for you in a verbal, face-to-face conversation. I think there's some irony here.

The mass-email and notification rule is a very collegiate standard to uphold. At this year's Homecoming, I am aware of two pairings who were disqualified because although they all showed up for their blood appointments, donated blood, were healthy, arrived on time and volunteered....someone was spotted telling more people to give blood for their pairing's points. So no points at all for them. But it's not about the points....it's the fact that they all gave blood that will be donated to save LIVES. Heck, if it takes mass e-mails and verbal endorsements to help people change our world, let them happen! Why hold people back because it might not be fair that one has more access to another?

I really don't understand it. There is obviously reasoning for the mass e-mail rule and more, but you need to think of the end result and its benefits. In sarcastic retaliation to the e-mail discussing the post-ponement, Sherman and I posted Facebook statuses instructing our friends:

Due to the substantial judicial issues affecting the MSA election, please write in Fabes-Artemas for the 2011 MSA President/Vice President. Sherman Fabes and I believe we can pull this upset off.

It received a pretty adequate response from our Facebook followers with likages, comments and even tags in new posts. Thus, it was a funny joke of the week, and I encourage people in their future endeavors not to make rules against e-mails and things that could better our environment.

Crossing borders

One topic that has sparked my interests lately more than I thought it ever would is the United States-Mexico border, in terms of illegal immigration as well as identity. I used to be very adamant about my view; it seems like a cut and dry topic. If you are born in Mexico (or Canada, Greece, any country for that matter), you are not a U.S. citizen and thus, do not deserve to enter the country we fund. End of story. That should be ethical, right? But it's not.

When I think about the issue, I see it as one of induced self-esteem of Americans for monetary and economic purposes. Even if it is better to not overpopulate our country, the U.S. feels a sense of power and torture over immigrants such as Mexicans. In the long run, it is not just a problem of our country's size and money, it's about our egos, selfishness and disrespect toward other cultures. There are huge race and generation fault lines present through our biases toward immigrants. Thus, I came to the conclusion that is is the norm in American culture to uphold a sense of empowerment against a group of individuals when really, the ethical thing to do would be to stop torturing them and look out for the best interests of a group.

For example, when a Mexican who was born in the U.S. is crossing the border, it is the norm to be incredibly tough while letting him over. Checking multiple forms of identification (I personally had to show two IDs when I crossed the border and I am a blonde, Greek-American girl), questioning and evil stares are typical. The employees, regardless of who they are at home or outside of their job, exert this unnecessary power that shows that they are better because they have all say as to who enters the country. But what else makes them any better than us? NOTHING.

While not quite as extreme examples, there are small things that happen on life's daily basis, as well as laws, that prove this unnecessary exertion of power. Last week, I spent an hour and a half waiting to pick up my MU basketball tickets outside Mizzou Arena. About 500 students waited outside in the cold, and in these experiences last year, people were getting frostbitten. But the arena employees won't just open the door and let you sit in the heated building while you wait for your tickets. Or let you in to use the bathroom. That door does not open a minute too early; it's firsthand torture. Would it be unethical to unlock the door and let people inside for their health's sake as they wait? Apparently so.

There's a different type of torture by the law like when I am right outside of a popular Columbia bar "canning" for Relay, but can't walk into the bar because of one number that adds to my identity--my age. While this is a different type of example and I do believe the drinking age should be 21, it's the premise of the fact that one 'bouncer' is holding me back from stepping foot on that territory when in reality, who is he to be in that position? Another individual empowering others of equal, lesser or even greater value than himself.

Ilyse, Jackie and I outside of Harpo's collecting money for Relay.

We fundraised over $500 that night!

As a strict person, I'm saying that America needs to tone down its relationships with its rules and evaluate whether the rules are upheld for ethical or empowering reasons. If I were the Mizzou Arena employee who watched someone outside go to the hospital for frostbite, would I feel good about myself? The bartender that watched someone go away in an ambulance outside because they weren't allowed in a bar to use the bathroom? Watched the immigrant that was shot because he or she wasn't allowed across the border when in reality, met all standards? Think about it.

So much to say

I feel like it's been two weeks and not just one since I last blogged, but look forward to a plethora of posts in the near future :). Time has flown by with many trips, revelations, photos and more so keep checking back!!

Halloween!

Day 1: Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry!

Day 2: Convict!

Day 3: Convict again....for rushing the field at last week's football game! But I was pardoned :P!