The cell-phone-less life: learning to say no

I have a problem. I am attached to my cell phone. It does not leave my side. I have never once left it in my room, put it on silent of even turned it off this semester.

The idea sparked into my head that I should just go a day without my phone and see how things differ. In a plea to start saying no to more things in life and not trying to accomplish everything and more, I left my phone at home in my room, on silent, on top of my desk and will not check it until I return home for the day around 7:30 p.m. Twelve hours without a phone to contact the world. What would you do?

A quick disclaimer- I do have my computer with me and have been replying to e-mails, but this was not part of the experiment. The mission per se was that anything I am doing, I am always in contact with someone else via text or calling. I have a break in between 1:45 and 3:30 p.m. on this day in my schedule, and reflected upon what I usually get done during this hour. Even if I set an agenda and to-do list of things to accomplish, I realize they do not get done to the extent I want them to. Why? Because I am either calling people to catch up (something I value), texting someone I will see in a few minutes or hours, or running errands and favors that probably never would have even needed to be done if I wouldn't have said yes.

I cannot say no. This is a current issue I am working on with my friends, acquaintances and co-members of organizations, but people know this about me and take full advantage of it. I have spent hours driving people to places I don't even know to go because I feel bad that they have no other way of getting there. Gone to various buildings on campus to print assignments for group members because I am under the impression my grade will suffer if they do not complete their part. Helped people with quizzes when I should be writing a Spanish paper. Making documents and schedules for people who whine about not being able to organize their lives. Meeting up for coffee when I should be preparing for an exam.

And when I think about it, this sounds selfish, but I could probably finish my work and maybe have a little more free time if I toned those other errands down and focused on what I need to do. Do I regret helping my friends? Not in the least. Do I get aggravated at these errands and last minute wants sometimes? Yes. But I fulfill them anyway. Because I have an empathy problem and think that if I was in their position, I would take advantage of me too. But people barely return the favor and I continue to live. It's just how my life functions.

I've had some time to get ahead this afternoon and I've written two analytical blog posts, ran some errands on my own and achieved more than I thought I would. Potential things that could have happened with a phone include spontaneous calls and texts that inhibit me from paying attention in class or cause me to stress out about what needs to be done next. Or texts from people asking for help on a project or a paper that would cause me to immediately stop what I'm doing and go meet up with them. The thought of saying I have something else to do does not even cross my mind. Thus, the lack of cell phone usage this afternoon is a test in saying no to things that if really needed to be done, should have been contacted earlier. To warn my acquaintances, I posted my Facebook status that I was going phoneless for the day. I have already been questioned by three people in my classes how it's going. Note: these are not people I talk to on a regular basis. Goodness.

I am halfway through the day. There are several alarming reasons informing me that this problem persists in my life and it's even making me depressed that this is even the case. Examples include:

• During one of my lecture classes, I envisioned that my phone was ringing and I got really embarrassed that it interrupted class. But that didn't happen. I guess I just wish my phone was ringing/maybe it was ringing back at home and my cell phone and I have that sixth sense with each other. Yes, I just personified my cell phone. But without even having possession of the phone, I believe it rang because that's what I'm used to. Sad story #1.
• I am wearing a jacket with pockets and have these moments where I feel my phone vibrating and dig in my pocket to get it (one of its usual locations). But the phone is on my desk in my room....and there is no vibration I am actually feeling. I am just so adjusted to getting text messages at this time of day that it's instinctual to take my phone out.
• After proposing an argument at a TA's office hours, I received five points back on a test. My first feeling was to text my friends in that class about my excitement. But there was no phone in my pocket. Upon reflection, I thought...maybe if I eliminated the ability to do this, they don't actually need to know. In fact, they probably don't care. With unlimited texting, messages have lost their value and become so pointless. So, I got a few points back, the world continues.
• I'm sure more will come since it is only 3 p.m.

I encourage you all to participate because I feel so relaxed. As I acknowledged before, I did not cut of all contact due to e-mail and this blog obviously, but I hope you look forward to hearing the results of this experiment!