The real you

"Let's make the real you also the best of you," Randi Zuckerberg writes in the last chapter of her recently released book, Dot Complicated.

The context of this passage is how social media profiles tend to portray the best of you, rather than the genuine you. In a world where people post a lot online, they tend to post more positive, brag-worthy traits than faults so they are seen in a good light.

Thinking about social sharing habits, this is for the most part true. Randi’s proposition is that we aim to change that, and I completely agree. If you look at my social media profiles, I confess that I post pretty positively, and definitely “brag-worthy” items, but I interpret the message in a different way.

Public or private, posts and messages of gratitude, congratulations, birthday wishes and checking in on friends are normal online, via Facebook, Twitter, instant messaging, etc. So why do we feel awkward wishing someone Happy Birthday around the office, when clearly we know it’s the case? Why do we hesitate to ask someone how they are doing, what’s going on or how they’re feeling sometimes, when we might speculate something is up? The best of you strives to do this, and might hold back from doing this online (or in-person) because of judgment or even feeling creepy. If it’s genuine, don’t avoid it – go for it. Flipping the situation to its opposite, if the real you would say it in-person, what restricts you from saying it online? We shouldn’t be afraid of these things, especially in a private message. 

Another social sharing habit is to rant or complain. Although our motivations differ for what we post online, that’s another realistic part of everyday conversation. So why do we roll our eyes at it online? When we think of the real you being the best of you, the best of you knows not to use tons of profanities to describe a situation. The best of you knows your friends might not want to hear every nuisance or minor detail, especially depending on relevance. So make that the real you, and if you’re going to complain online, keep it to the point.

I have a philosophy that once you can share a piece of news or an article (i.e. a research study, interesting fact or blog post) with someone, they are a true companion. We discuss current events in person, so I aim to bring “real me” to life online and don’t hesitate to share articles on Twitter or on my friends’ Facebook walls/“timelines.”

Next time you are posting on one of your social media profiles, think about your motivations. Is it the real you sharing the news, or are you hoping that someone will like or comment on it? Are you hoping to see a complaint gratified by others that feel the same way? Or, are you leveraging social media as an outlet to share since the people you want to see it are far away? Whatever it may be, consider the words from the beginning passage a springboard to your posting future – keeping your best judgment and real words aligned.