Social media anxiety

Confessions:

• I get upset when I log into Facebook and have no notifications.
• It’s really exciting to see the number of hearts appear when you open up Instagram after posting a photo.
• The Twitter ringtone is gratifying, because it means someone RT’d you or favorited the tweet.
• My heart beats nervously when I see a message has been “seen” but not responded to.
• I intentionally post photos at social media-heavy times.
• And I don’t check my Klout score often, but when I do, I expect it to be 60 or higher.

I like to think these are normal habits for a tech-savvy, 20-something Millennial. Whether they are or aren’t, they are truths and not entirely out-there for someone in my generation.

As 2014 kicked off, I am trying to determine WHY this gratification is necessary. What is so great about it? What void is it filling? What do people in previous generations use to fill it? How can the need for this feeling be eliminated?

A very general solution to this is not letting these accounts dictate your life. Not checking them enough to let it disappoint you. Much easier said than done…but the ugly truth. The only way we can move forward from the frequency, power and halo they already have is continuing meaningful conversation with our voices—whether that be in person, on the phone or on video chat.

Your friends and family should appreciate what you do, so why does it matter if your sorority sister, ex-fling or 4^th grade teacher likes a status or photo of your travels? If your friends or significant other won’t listen to these things, find new ones; they should care. Is social anxiety and gratification replacing verbal acknowledgment, empathy and excitement for others? We don’t want society to move this way.

There is nothing more gratifying than productive, meaningful conversation. In a recent Reader’s Digest issue, senior editor of the Oxford English Dictionary Fiona McPherson calls out the term “nocializing”—being preoccupied with a mobile device while in company. We all know it; we’ve all done it – but let’s not make this the norm. So in the meantime, I’m going to continue to use my phone for what it was meant for—calling people—and maybe I won’t get as much social anxiety.