Single Bridezillas

Today on Twitter, my friend Laura shared the following ABC article with me:

'Single Bridezillas': First Comes Wedding Planning, Then Comes the Groom

This article explains the recent phenomenon of single bridezillas- women who are happy to finalize their wedding plans before their marriage proposal. It tells the stories of various women- engaged, single, those who have chosen their dresses for themselves and their bridesmaids, those who have been planning the day since they were 6 years old, the fables continue.

I know myself how realistic this is. I have a notebook document on my computer with a tab for each friend who has told me I am planning their wedding or helping out in some capacity. The document contains pictures found online of everything from flower bouquets, dress styles to color tones. Lists of who the bridesmaids will be, who must be invited, what the first dance song will be, potential venues. Let's face it: I AM a single bridezilla.

The last subhead on the second page of the story said "Is planning ahead a mistake?" I sighed of relief thinking this is where the writer acknowledges that these women don't have partners yet, and how they are still going to put effort into their relationships. Care about the man more than the wedding. Be patient looking for the right person and not just rushing to marry someone to have the wedding, but to marry that individual. And you know what it said?

"Attitudes change, weight changes, styles change." said Urshel. "So to [plan a wedding] way ahead of your wedding date, that is going to be a very difficult thing."

What kind of society do we live in where this is an acceptable thing to say?! The biggest mistake of planning ahead is that you might have to hem your dress? Buy a new one? Choose a new centerpiece?

I think the biggest mistake of this "planning ahead" is rushing into marriage to host an event! Not putting enough time and effort toward a relationship because you'd rather look at what's next- the engagement/wedding- rather than the present. One woman in the article tries to acknowledge this by saying, "I've made myself a promise that for every hour I spend wedding planning, that I'm going to spend an equal amount of time working towards the marriage." 

Well you know what? She should spend a little more time than that working toward her marriage if she plans to not get divorced the first few days after she's married. As crazy as single bridezillas (like me) are, and like to have fun planning things, let's at least begin to acknowledge ourselves and in the media that a solid foundation for a good relationship is more important than a wedding.