Living at home: lack of privacy or high Millennial expectations

Pew statistics show that 36 percent of all Millennials are living in the home of their parents. Zeroing in on the Millennials, you see that more than half of 18 to 24 year-olds (56%) are living at home. There are even gender splits, with recent studies releasing that male Millennials are more likely to live at home than women, an eight percentage point difference (40% men vs. 32% women 18 to 31 years old at home). As a college graduate living at home for another week, I help constitute these statistics.

I am obviously excited to have my own apartment downtown, but do acknowledge the pros and cons of both situations–staying home or moving out–especially with the ability to live in the suburbs of the city where I essentially grew up. Living at home for the past few months, I have learned a lot. A lot about how my family operates during the school year, taking into account others' schedules when it comes to cars and meals and a lot about how our generation defines privacy.

There are some times where I get home from a long day at work or a night out with friends, and am not necessarily in the mood to socialize with family immediately. But if I'm on the phone or computer in the family room or kitchen, the questions begin: Who are you talking to? Where were you? Who was there? Where did you park? What are you doing tomorrow?

And at first, I was frustrated at these questions. Our whole generation hears these questions and sighs at their parents, wondering why they are so eager to know every last detail. While some might think, "That's just what living at home is like," I thought about it a little more and realized this perceived nuisance is a family's way of knowing what's going on in my life.

Millennials have had high expectations of privacy our entire lives. Let's take a look. When our parents grew up...

• All calls came to a house phone. Your family didn't have to ask who you were talking to on the phone because they could see you doing it. In some instances, the phones even had cords. Who are you on the phone with? and "What did they say?" didn't have to be asked because overall, anyone around you could pick up on the gist of the conversation–catching up, making plans, whatever it was. 

• Not only were cell phones not in place, but written conversations via text message, Facebook, email and other social media didn't happen. Parents knew who their children were communicating with; kids couldn't hide it on Facebook, text messages and Snapchats. If you got a letter in the mail, someone else saw the return address and the fact that you received emails. Digital alternatives did not exist. How many people can say right now that their parents, siblings or roommates could name the past five people they have texted or communicated with on Facebook? 

• There were not numerous devices in each room of the household (TV in every bedroom, computers in other rooms, etc.), so it was more common to sit in the living room and have a conversation with your family. When I'm home at night, it is possible that my Mom is in front of one TV upstairs with her iPad, my Dad is in front of another with his phone reading material and I'm in the basement on my laptop in front of yet another television. Co-viewing rarely happens. With all of these devices spread out, there is no doubt that it takes more effort to get everyone in the same room for a conversation. 

With these three callouts being just a few pieces of evidence, we have more privacy now than ever. Despite the 'over it' attitude at the incessant questions upon walking into the door, if I didn't talk or share stories from my day, my family would have no idea what I was doing or who I was talking to...ever.

So to those who live at home, or even with roommates who care about your life and ask a lot of questions...be mindful this privacy notion. Consider how much of our life is password-protected, digital and why we feel the need to hide so much from those living with us. When you set your privacy expectation in any living situation, think of the additional mediums our generation uses to communicate and acknowledge that they did not exist before.