I would like to formally apologize for pursuing one of my pet peeves and often, in front of you guys...texting. As some of you know, junior year I wrote an opinions article in Torch about how much I hate texting. And I am glad to say that in an effort not to be a hypocrite, I reread it and completely agree with all of the statements I make there. Something about college and mass communication combined have made me more of a texter but have not taken away from my habit of talking with others on the phone when matters are discussable and not brief, making plans or finding people.
I feel incredibly rude when I do it (send text messages) especially when I'm with friends or family, texting other friends or family. Part of me tells me to put my phone on silent and stop (yes, I am human), but the other part of me can't lose that communication with the rest of the world. It's the societal norm. But that does NOT mean you are not a priority if I'm with you and texting someone else. It means that other person might have a question/be trying to figure out plans for tomorrow.
Back to hypocrisy, when I am with friends and they are texting others, I obviously wonder who it is and what they could be talking about. Or why they can't just focus on our conversation. And now I know the answer: they are keeping in touch with their other friends/family, just as most of us do. And can they wait? Can I wait? It's probably possible, but just not probable or actual for that matter. So I am writing this to let you know first, that I have discovered it as a problem and am not oblivious to the fact that I text too much when with other people, because recognition is the first step to realizing any issue. And when I'm with you, maybe you'll empathize when I text other people because I probably made plans with you via text while I was hanging out with someone else :)
So after realizing texting as a hypocritical pet peeve, I made a list of more and their explanations. Some explanation is more elaborate than others.
Pet Peeves I am guilty of but in an attempt to stop because I dislike these habits so much
Disclaimer: if I am with you and commit any of these, feel free to inform me :)
- Texting: explained above.
- The use of "we": Kara pointed this one out, but sometimes I tend to say 'we' leaving others wondering- who is we? Is it YOU, you and who you were with, and if you aren't saying who else you were with, why is it a secret? These are all what I wonder when others say it. Usually, I am referring to a group, but story. At work today, I walked up to a table of just one man and asked, "Are we all set to order?" This helped me to realize that Fridays is probably where I gained this habit. Because when I address a table, I speak in the 'we' for more convincing techniques and somehow, carry that over to my conversations with friends. Sorry, because if someone spoke to me in the we, I'd be angered.
- The phrase "It's fine": Is it really fine? Does fine mean good, or that you settled? The tone really matters on this one. My biggest reciprocation to this phrase is would you have initiated this yourself, or are you just following what someone else did because 'it's fine'? No one knows. So stop getting everyone else mad by saying this and just say something like "That's a good/bad idea, I like/dislike this" or some type of more descriptive word on the yes-no black-white scale rather than "fine". Thanks :)
- When I say- "I'm going to let you go": I think this one started during college. Or summer before that when I started to juggle a lot of things. This phrase is a problem. Sherman pointed it out over winter break on Skype, and the rephrase was: 'I'm going/need to go.' So I tried that the week later, to which the person I was conversing with replied "I'M NOT DONE YET!" This was depressing so I reverted back to saying it. Why do I say it? Because I feel like I am ending our conversation with you on top. We got to catch up (we the two of us), and now you get to go continue on with the rest of your day and be productive and all that jazz. And I don't feel guilty catching up with you because now I wasn't a waste of your time if you get to keep doing what you would have done. So basically, my apologies for using this phrase, I will no longer attempt to use it for others' benefit, and will just say when I need to go and not 'leave the blame' on the other person. Sorry friends, I love you all :).
- When you are conversing with someone and they cannot look you in the eye: This is key to human communication. Why can't you look at someone in the eye when you talk to them? It's not only a sign of respect, but active listening. What else are you staring at? Or what's going on with that person that you physically can't bring yourself to looking at them? Ahhh.
- People that mumble: How do you expect someone to understand what you are saying? Just speak clearly and this could be easily avoided.
- Condescending people: What puts you above someone in a particular situation? Think before you speak down to someone, and ask yourself what you did to put yourself above them that makes you more authoritative. Even if addressing the problem and/or talking about it or writing about it in a blog post is the answer.
- Bad driving: this encompasses a lot. Whether it's people who brake and accelerate quickly, can't merge, talk on the phone and drive, text and drive, we've all done it. We know it's not smart, it just happens. WOW, I have already spoken in the we. Failure. So to answer my own question, we means society here.
- Figuring out the we complex: After already failing at one of my vows here, I realize that the reason I say 'we' besides addressing tables is because I think my thoughts are similar to society's norms and what conformists would do, which to some extent, is true, but to some isn't. So sorry, and yay for recognizing that fail.
Therefore, my apologies for all of the listed things and hope everyone's having a great summer :)
Love from Northbrook,
Katie
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