April Quote List

A little delayed…but can't forget about the monthly quote list. 

The biggest categories this month are social media comments, random stories and of course, funny Greek Easter & Holy Week stories. Enjoy!


Social Media Stories
"So people can't tell you've unfollowed them?" -Dad
“Here’s your Holy Week book. I wrote Artemas in here but at the very least I hope it’ll be hyphenated in the future.” -Dad

“I was lost in the world of Instagram on the bus and looked up and I was 6 blocks past work.” -Sarah

"What should I wear tonight?" -George 

"Look at the pictures Katie's tagged of you on Facebook and wear something else." -Christina

"Instagram flirting is indeed a thing. …I feel like everyone says this…but he looks cuter in person." -Meredith, as she shows us a guy’s Instagram

"Here’s my news. Anastasia is following me on Instagram, and so is the quarterback of Vanderbilt." -Dad

Random Stories

“God, babe I thought you were expensive to date. You’re more expensive to keep around!” -Steve to Helen, after seeing her nail polish purchase

"You know who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian airlines." -Dad

"I get neighborhood envy when we meet up with people and see other areas of town." -Becca, on NYC life 

“They have a house and patio furniture in their life and wanted to use it so we went over.” -Helen, on 20somethings becoming adults 

"I'm reading the fares and it says vomit in a cab. That's weird, like do they charge you for sneezing? If I were a cab driver, I'd want someone to vomit so I can make $50." -10-year-old boy while babysitting 

“I didn’t even realize, I got three different numbers.” -a friend on a night out in Old Town

"It just required so much patience and time to get around the zoo, I couldn't handle it." -Katie

“You won’t feel that way when they’re your kids.” -Irina and Becca

“You still will.” -Mom, on babysitting

"Do you really think I would board a plane without knowing how I'm getting home?” -Jessie, as she got a voicemail offering her a ride from O’Hare

"No story ever ends well when it begins with 'I had a whole bottle of UV blue to myself.'" -Kate

“You’ve already met his parents?”

“We’ve been dating since March 1.” -Shelley

“That’s quick. I dated a guy for 4 months and he broke up with me when my parents came to move me in because he didn’t want to meet them.” -Britney


“My parents didn't meet your Dad’s parents until our wedding!” -Jessie's mom, on the oddness of her meeting her boyfriend's parents immediately

“I don't mind drinking by myself, but not when I'm sad or upset.” -a friend 

“Do your Moscow mules come in a copper glass?” -Hannah, at Hubbard Inn.

"No." -Waitress
"Oh. Nevermind." -Hannah

"There is no ladylike way to eat this peace of meat." -Lauren

“That must be nice to not be a real adult and have to file your own taxes.” -Lauren to Brock

“What’s Native American for bicycle?” -Jill

“Did they have bicycles?” -Billy

“I’m an account person, remember, I have no discernible skills. It took me three years to learn how to send out a meeting notice.” -Billy, mocking his role and how people make fun of account executives in advertising 

"My roommate and I worked in the same building for eight months without realizing it." -an advertising friend, on the complicated 111 E Wacker / 225 N Michigan building 

"That's what's great about Florida, you feel great and like you have all this power when it comes to elections." -Lauren 

“I didn’t realize the movers were actually coming at 3 p.m., I thought they just told us that.” Surranda, on our move at work 

"Everyone that I text tends to have an iPhone (since the text is blue)." -Dean

"Really? Everyone I text doesn’t have an iPhone." -Christina

"First of all, how do you know that yet if you don't have one? Second of all, I feel like the people you text wouldn’t have iPhones." -Dean 

“Who was Bill Clinton’s vice president?”

*Silence*

“To be fair, we were like 5.” -Lauren 

“Would it be weird if I sent her a meeting notice to get coffee, only if it like has a funny name?” -a co-worker, on attempting to date someone at work

“Yes.” 

Greek Easter & Holy Week

“Were having a bit of a parking problem. The policeman guiding parking is Greek Orthodox, and he does understand when you are talking about him in Greek.” -Fr. Chris

“We were supposed to go out to dinner but my stomach hurt so I sent Papou to Culver’s to but some fish.” -Yiayia Nikie 

"I wasn't sure if other people like beets, but I really do so I just ordered them anyway." -Avro

“There was a cute guy there tonight so I’ll have to have [the priest] introduce us.” -a priest's daughter, at Holy Unction

“I told Eleni her Facebook was 1-dimensional and she had to expand her offerings.” -Dad

What do you mean?” -Katie

“It’s all pictures of parties.” -Dad

“I’m going to Instagram during the procession. HAHAHA.” -Dad

“16 likes on the Crucifix picture.” -Dad

“What would all these church people who need attention do without Pascha celebrations?” -Dad

"Sitting in Dad’s office reading the Orthodox Observer. It doesn’t get more PK than this." 

“Donations in the form of tiropita are accepted. I need a feta fix.” -Maria

"I think my husband forgot what your dad told him to do." -Pat at church, on her husband remaining static on Good Friday holding the cross

"Three or four families from church invited us over and we don't want to go so we said we’ll be with our nieces or our son in Chicago. Maybe they will come later." -Yiayia Nikie, pressuring us to come over with lies to parishioners 

"However late you stay out, do not compromise yourself." -Dad
"I won't be drinking that much." -Katie 

"This is Wisconsin. Beer is to Wisconsin as Starbucks is to Glenview." -Dad

“This is the one type of time I like going to church. It’s like a fashion show and I love showing off how pretty I am.” -Maria

"How was your Pascha?" 

"Fine, pretty quiet since our whole family got poached by marriage." -George P.