A feminist rant

When I return home or am catching up with friends I do not go to school with, one question comes up without fail each time: "What's your boy situation?" Note: the question is not "do you have a boyfriend?" We live in a society where that information is already on Facebook, so since it didn't provide enough information, we need the whole situation. It implies that a situation even exists. Other common questions include:

"How are the boys? Are you seeing anyone? Any interests? Why don't you have a boyfriend?"
And these are completely normal questions to come home to. From friends, family, people at church, etc. And I want to propose a question that stems from this. 
Does a woman's well-being reflect her relationship status? Why should it? I really have tried to see it from both sides.

If you're in a relationship...

• You value another person's life
• Can balance your time well  
• Supposedly have marriage and a future on your radar
• You have another individual to support you, emotionally and in your life  

If you're not in a relationship...

• More time for yourself- independence 
• At times, more time to focus on your education and work goals
• Can emphasize your relationships with friends and might try more to stay in touch with acquaintances

Clearly, these lists are not complete. Either way, relationship or not: you're going somewhere and moving forward in life- whether it be promotions in the workplace, marriage, etc. So why do we judge a woman on whether she has a man to support her?

A woman can be perfectly competent and successful without a boyfriend. A lot of effort, time and energy goes into the obligation to put someone else's life at the same level as yours. But people need to wait for the right person or opportunity to be there and the right time in their life, not just date to say they're dating. We live in an ambitious and goal-driven world; nevertheless, people are selfish and don't always want to date someone just to have someone for mutual support and a relationship. So we should respect the fact that this is acknowledged nowadays and realize that someone's status as a person is not dependent on their relationship status.

Why doesn't anyone ever ask what you are doing with your professional goals or at school? You could be the CEO of a company, and would have to ease that into conversation since you're not talking about a relationship. I guarantee you that people at home don't know that I'm chairing a philanthropy event that fundraises over $100,000, working for a full-service advertising agency and served on the planning committee for my university's Centennial Homecoming. But they do know I am single!

Moreover, how many BOYS are judged on whether they have a girlfriend? Envision this situation. A 28 year-old man comes home to his hometown and shares news that he has been named president of a company. Now picture this- a 28 year-old woman has been given the same title. And people will still say- "Darn, too bad she doesn't have a husband."

I encourage you to look at boys the same way you do with girls as they achieve their goals. I encourage you to acknowledge your friends and family members' accomplishments and life goals just as much as their relationship status. And I encourage all women to realize that they don't need a man to stay stable, and that good things come to those who wait.